Say What You Need to Say...

It's no secret to anyone who knows me (or to any of you who just started following my blog) that I have a little obsession with John Mayer.  I think he is an amazingly talented musician, singer, songwriter, and guitarist.  I love his voice and his lyrics.

One of my favorite songs of his is "Say What You Need to Say" (one of many).  It was a song made popular in the movie "The Bucket List" and then also in the 2010 version of "The Karate Kid". 
Over the last two years, that song has been a personal mantra of mine.  You see, I don't believe in beating around the bush or tip toeing around issues.  If you have a problem with someone, you should address it and move on.  It's better for your stress level and for your relationships. 

Honestly, I've always been the type of person who says what I need to say, but as I get older I have really made an effort to speak my mind and address my feelings as the need arises.  The difference between now and then is that I think the issue through and approach the confrontation/resolution with much more finesse.  I look at both sides and I speak with sincerity and kindness (and sometimes a little bit of sarcastic humor if you're my BFF).

In my constant search for inspiring quotes, I stumbled upon this one "Say What You Mean, Mean What You Say, but Don't Say it Mean".  If you break it down, quite simply it makes a lot of sense.  Words can hurt, people don't like to hear when they are being judged or looked at in a negative light, so say what you mean and know you can't take it back. 

My friend confided in me recently about something her husband of many years said to her in the midst of him having a bad day.  What he said was so terribly hurtful that she felt completely sad and worthless.  The next day he apologized, but the words resonated with her in a way that she couldn't shake.  I saw the sadness in her eyes and it made me think...if he would have just said what was bothering him, which coincidentally had nothing to do with her, she would have never had to feel that pain. 

So remember the next time something is bothering you, say what you mean and mean what you say but please don't say it mean.

Be Kind,


  1. This is a great lesson & of course, John Mayer is always a good choice. =]

  2. Thanks Delaney - you obviously "get it"! :)

  3. So very true Crissa! So many people speak with emotions of a moment and not what is really in their heart. We are all guilty of it at one time or another, but hopefully learned from our own mistakes.