Love on a Two Way Street.

How many times have you heard, marriage is a two way street?  If I had to guess, the answer would be 'a lot'.  It's a lesson I continue to learn almost 14 years later.  I have always prided myself on the fact that my husband and I always talk to each other, that we spend time together as a couple, and that we are always a united force when it comes to parenting our children. 

It wasn't until recently that I realized that while we do talk, oftentimes we fail to "communicate”.  Making our relationship a bit strained at times.  What we both discovered is that we were lacking an effective method of communication.  Since, communication is a major player in holding a marriage together, we decided to break it down.  We spent some time really communicating and deciding that we need to recognize and accept each others’ point of view better. When you love someone but don’t fully appreciate each other it, quite simply causes problems.

When couples are willing to talk about everything and step into each other’s shoes to look at problems, then that will be the starting point of an ideal marriage.

Communication is an art.

Experts believe communication can be divided into five levels:

1. Level of acquaintance
2. Sharing of information
3. Sharing of ideas
4. Sharing of emotions
5. Gut level sharing

Wives often want a husband who can just sit down and listen, someone who can completely appreciate her emotions and views (Level 5). Husbands typically want to reason, maybe even give a lecture (Level 3). In this kind of situation, the wives may sometimes feel that they are talking to a wall. Eventually, the wives may stop sharing many of their feelings and thoughts. Thus, it becomes necessary for couples to learn how to communicate effectively.

In addition, couples need to love and accept each other, learn to listen, and listen with undivided attention. Be proactive, objective, and pay attention for any signs your spouse may give. Learn how to talk and praise your spouse frequently. Don’t forget to use some humor at times. And most importantly, say everything to your spouse with the love that comes straight from your heart.

Communicate effectively,

 

 Source:  5 Levels of Communication Written by Serena Wang